5 For Hope

A Travel Log Double Dose

March 31 and April 1, 2010

Today we leave.  I am not chomping at the bit like some but I do look forward to a few things.

Ice in my drinks.  Water in my toilet.  No dirty toilet paper in the waste can.  FOOD of the non-spicy, non-diarrhea inducing variety.  I am so thankful for not having big issues with the food and its effects.  Of course, I just feel now like I did before I had my GI issues in check.  

It is a beautiful day here.  Cool breeze, bright sun, fluffy clouds in a blue sky.

We have no electricity for the moment again.  With all the sun and an iPod, I don't notice.  Luckily, we all got our showers this a.m. and mine was actually hot.  We are pretty much packed up.  M3 has been napping for awhile following nearly and hour of moaning after being told she couldn't have candy.  (Magic-ko; caramello)

NO MORE CANDY!!!  NO MORE MIRINDA SODA POP!!!  STOP JACKING THESE KIDS UP ON SUGAR AND ROTTING THEIR TEETH!!! 

Ahem.

I thought M2 had an issue with candy and sugar.  This kid takes it to a WHOLE new level.

It is nice that today has been pretty laid back.

[I should note here that immediately after this laid back period, we were surprised by an unannounced visit my M3's biological mother.  That is an entire post for an entire other day when I am in an entirely different frame of mind.]

Yesterday was horrendously long.  Our in-country representative was called to an impromptu meeting with the coalition responsible for determining whether two trips to Ethiopia will be necessary.  That left him out of contact and us kind of just hanging out.  A LOT of overtired kids (and parents).

At the agency's local offices, I nearly lost my mind with M3.  She is very frenzied and easily frustrated.  The table manners of these kids are noticeably 'different' and because she is the oldest, it is super noticeable with her.  Ethiopian food, as noted before, is traditionally eaten without utensils.  That, for a kid, is already a recipe for disaster.  Throw in the "I better put this away extra fast if I want seconds at the orphanage" and you have yourself a real mess.  I really wish someone had said--be prepared to watch your little darling put fistfuls of food into her mouth and try to take a drink of liquid at the same time.  YIKES.

M3 is still taking off when she sets her mind to it.  Today she at least came back when I told her to come ("nay").  Yesterday?  Not so much.

The worst of the running off was at the local office.  She took off from a fenced  in playground which opens onto a narrow driveway.  That area is also fenced and the driveway is between the playground and the office building.

I was right behind her which only made her go faster.  As I went to launch myself through the playground fence's open gate, all I saw was taillights and a car braking hard.  I immediately broke into a sweat, my heart stopped and my eyes darted everywhere looking for M3 (starting under the back tire).  She had somehow avoided being hit by the car and was standing under the carport at the driver's window making silly faces at the driver and at me.  She had rear end and her tongue sticking out.

I will admit it.  I literally saw red.  I think I reached her in about two steps.  She received what my family and I affectionately call "the gripper" ( a firm grasp of one's bicep by someone taller and markedly stronger) and an all expense paid trip into the office's bathroom.  We had a little chat about how I had NO intention of taking her home in a Ziploc bag, that this was not funny, and when the plane touches down in America, these reindeer games END.

I have not been that scared in a very, very long time.

More of our Travel Log

March 30, 2010

M3 slept until around 6 a.m. when the roosters started crowing.  She got up and went to the bathroom right away.  She laid back down, but it wasn't long before she was sitting up.  she got up, ate some Cheerios, drank some water with Pedialyte and played.  Then, she scrambled off our bed and ran into the bathroom.  It only took me a second to realize that she was going to be sick.  I couldn't believe it.  She was not only throwing up but she knew where to go and what to do when she did it.  Poor kid.

I'm going to assume it was the antibiotic we started her on last night.  I guess it upset her stomach?  She ended up running a fever today too from what I could tell.  So she took Motrin.  We have also been giving her a decongestant.  I think her stomach was rocky from not only the antibiotic but also the ridiculous amount of disgusting sinus drainage she's been having.  Poor kid.

She was okay during breakfast but didn't eat much.  She is just too busy.  Table manners are hard for all the kids it seems because 1) no one uses utensils here and 2) you need to eat fast if you want seconds in an orphanage.  We will work on it.

M3 is also in Pull-Ups.  Although she has not had an accident yet, we are going to use them until we are at home.  We run around SO much to places where bathrooms are elusive or sketchy.  Better safe than sorry, we have decided.

M3 is very independent and is used to having lots of freedoms.  She has a tendency to go where she wants when she decides to and doesn't look back to see if it's okay or if you are following her.  I've noticed, though, that she has started doing that more today, but not much more.

It has been hard to be consistent with her because we aren't supposed to discipline the kids until we are home.  It is way frowned upon.  But you know what?  M3 is a big girl and she is smart.  She is already learning what we mean and that when we say it we mean it.  We are just careful to be consistent but also to have those moments outside the parameters of public view.  M3 can listen.  She just isn't used to it.  We are working on it.

Today in the van, one of the moms was carsick.  M3 was sitting behind her and put her feel on the back of the mom's seat and began pushing and kicking.  That is not okay anytime.  This time it was doubly not okay because the van seats have beautiful, handmade white seat covers and M3's feet were muddy pluse the other mom was on the verge of puking.

I told M3 several times to stop and she would not.  Finally, I said (and made hand gestures), "M3, you may stop kicking that seat and stay where you are or you will sit on my lap."  She stopped (and pouted and sulked), but a few minutes later she climbed into my lap and fell asleep.

That was on the way home from the Embassy appointment where we learned we would be given the necessary documents to have her admitted to the United States and then be readopted by us for her citizenship status.

The Embassy appointment was interesting.  Pretty heavy security.  LOTS of curious looks--M3 waved to everyone.  Very friendly kid.

We had to wait to be called to a window and we were asked some questions.  We apparently answered them all okay because we were given the seal of approval to take her home.  I cried.  Again.

When we got back, we were exhausted.  M3 sat and ate a good dinner.  Then, it was apparent that bedtime had come.

We gave her a shower, did teeth and pjs and she was chattering the ENTIRE time.  Unlike last night when she dutifully climbed into bed and fell right to sleep, tonight she was fighting loudly. 

She carried on from 7:00 - 7:42.  We did a long dance but I did not leave her side.  She let me hold her three separate times while she sobbed.  I was also able to talk her into putting her distracting toys out of sight into her bag until tomorrow.

Then, she got up, walked over to our nightstand and picked up her sippy cup with the straw in the lid. 

[Our cups are much cooler than the ones pictured, but I wanted to provide a visual aid.]

She carried it back to bed and proceeded to drain it as one would a bottle.  If she began to nod off and the straw fell out, she would root around for it with her mouth.  At one point, she was facing me, looking in my eyes, sucking on that cup and stroking my hair--I had a deja vu moment of nursing my girls as babies.

It was then that I was pretty sure M3 was not only overtired, overstimulated and grieving her losses, but she was also missing a bottle.  Not sure when the last one may have been that she had, but it just didn't seem that long ago.  Good gravy.  I hope this isn't a habit we have to put to rest.

She is a beautiful girl.  We are just ready to go home...although the plane ride will be horrendous.

Travel Log Installment

(Written March 30, 2010)

March 29, 2010

Once it was time to wake up, I took a shower (freezing cold again) and got dressed in clean clothes.  Yea!

We had breakfast with the other families and then anxiously awaited a ride to the care center to meet our kids.

The ride was pretty bumpy and full of fumes that made me fee pretty nauseated.  (Emissions standards?  I'm guessing no.)

We pulled onto a side street and a couple of us recognized the telltale gate we'd seen in family photos of those who came before us.  The gate opened and as we pulled in, we could see a row of little people lining the front step.  Each was holding a dozen roses.  I scanned the faces quickly and did not recognize any of them.  Then, I saw one of the bundles of roses fall to the side and there was the face I had been waiting so long to see. 

When I saw that M3 was wearing a shirt identical to one M2 owns, I had to turn away my eyes.  I had started to cry and I knew I was not supposed to do that.  Culturally, M3 would see tears as disappointment rather than joy so I got myself together and stepped out of the van door.

I thought I saw a flicker of recognition go across M3's face, but it probably was my imagination.  My husband and I hunched down to talk to her.  We took some photos but quickly lost both cameras to little hands.  We covered her shirt and some other kids' shirts with stickers and then were ushered into the center and upstairs to the kids' rooms.

M3 immediately took to my husband.  She called him Daddy right away and wanted him to carry her, etc.  She could have taken or left me, I think, but she did sit on my lap and hold my hand.  she also wanted me to sit by her at lunch to watch her eat.

One of the nannies said that "she is a very good girl" and that "she is Christian."  She didn't know much more English than that, but what she said meant a lot.

As we left the kids' bedroom and tromped downstairs for lunch, I was following my husband who was carrying M3.  I just absentmindedly started counting steps out loud like I did when M1 and M2 were small.  To my surprise, M3 joined me in English.  Wow.

Not long after that, Abdissa (our in country representative and center director) gave us a typed schedule of M3's day.  M3 pointed out the numbers correctly.  The number three was missing from the list, so I know she was not just guessing as she read from 1 through 9.  Then, she started pointing out letters on the paper.  I couldn't believe she had that much number and letter recognition in English.

Not much longer and we rode to our agency's office for a family reception.  This is the first I remember M3 calling me "Mama."  She was on an upstairs patio and wanted me to come see something.

We took her to a swing set in the courtyard and Daddy pushed her on the swing.  She said her ABC's and counted 1-10 with each push.  Then, she told my husband it was my turn.  As I pushed her, she counted 1-10 again and again.  I said, "What comes after ten?  Eleven.  Twelve."  and she joined in all the way to 20. 

Then, she kept counting.  She needed prompting at the start of each new 10 but she went all the way to 100. 

I was completely caught off guard.

The day was long and it was busy.  M3 was non-stop and on-the-go for the entire day.  When the electricity went out around 6:30 or so, we were already tired.  We had just gotten her showered (thank goodness the water was warm for her!) and into her jammies.  By 7:30, it was dark--really dark.  By 8:00 or so, we were both asleep. 

Unfortunately, I woke up at 1 a.m. and could not go back to sleep.  My husband woke up around 1:30 a.m. and had the same problem.

More Travel Log

Written March 30, 2010

I finally found a pen I could swipe.  Ink pens are, apparently, a rare commodity.  I promise to return this one to the family room pencil cup before we leave.  (And, I did.)

The past couple days have  been super busy.

On the 28th, it was another day without our luggage.  Such a bummer.  It was also another cold shower day for me.  Not fun.  This after having been awake from 3:20 a.m. on thanks to some REALLY loud prayer chanting being piped through the PA systems dotting the area.

My husband and I went with another couple to shop.  We went to several local places on one street and picked up lots of interesting things.  It was hot and what we had on did nothing to help that.

After shopping, we returned to the guest house and had some down time before regrouping for a dinner out.  The couple we'd gone shopping with, another adoptive dad and our wonderful guide, Aki, had dinner with us at the Hilton.  The ladies had grilled ham and cheese with french fries and we agreed it ended up sitting in our stomachs rather unpleasantly.  BUT we had the first COLD drinks since our flight and that was amazing.  Ice is a no-no here.  And refrigeration takes too much energy so places like the Hilton are about the only ones to do it.

After the Hilton, we all went to the airport to pick up two other families.  We also went to see about our bags.  While at dinner, a rainstorm had rolled in and it continued even as we arrived at the airport.  We had to buy a ticket (3 Birr) at the airport parking long to gain admission to the airport.  Apparently, when it rains, people from the surrounding area flock to the airport to get out of the rain.  I guess the government uses the admission as a way to see how seriously one wants into the airport?  They also had soldiers armed with AK-47's to keep the lines in check.  After our experience in the baggage line the day before, it didn't seem at all unreasonable.

It took awhile to get into the airport, but once we did, we made our way to the baggage claim's outer office window.  We stood behind one woman and nearby, a little tiny boy in a suit and fancy shoes waved to me.  I waved back.  He walked over to me and held out his hand.  I thought he wanted me to give him 5 but when I went to gently tap his palm, he grabbed my hand and held it for awhile.

We were waved around into the baggage claim area and while my husband stood in line with our paperwork, I went to look at bags.  It wasn't long before the smaller of the two flopped onto the conveyor.  I snatched it up and moments later, I saw my husband waving me over to where he  had found our other bag.

I cried.

It was like family had come to visit.  I could not have been more thrilled. 

We returned to our guest house and FINALLY changed clothes!!  I didn't even mind the lack of hot water so much.  I was so tired and ready for bed--especially after the craziness of the prayer hollering.  But, I could not fall asleep.

Mini Update and Our Travel Log

So far, so good as a Party of Five.

M3 LOVES mealtime.  And snack time. 

She has surely eaten her weight in Clementine Cuties ("O-ronge, Mommy?") and has even begun eating things that she refused on first pass (pineapple, cheesy potatoes, etc).

Last night, I made linguine with meatballs and hoped she'd at least try it.  When she saw the linguine box come from the cupboard, she began jumping up and down saying, "Pasta!  Pasta!  Pasta!"  I guess the connection between Italy and Ethiopia lives on in M3's palate.

We are still working on the fungal infection on her scalp.  I hate having to use medicated Selsun Blue shampoo on her delicate hair, but it's either that or letting things go wild prior to her doctor's appointment Monday.  It really does seem to help her and that's what's important for now.  We can repair the hair as we go.

M3 has been sleeping well, napping well, and trying to be more respectful of M2's 'authority.'  It's a slow process, but I'm trying to stay on top of things.  Sibling rivalry is an amazing thing.

I also thought it was time to share the first part of our travel log.  I'll be sharing more as the days pass as a way to provide the back story of this adventure.

March 26 & 27, 2010:  We left our house at 4 a.m. to make our 6:15 flight to Washington, D.C.  We arrived there at 9:00 a.m. after waiting a LONG time to be able to depart our home airport.  An overnight ice storm slicked up roads and the runway.  We arrived in Rome around 1 a.m. and sat on a tarmac for refueling for about an hour.  We arrived in Addis around 9:30 a.m. local time.  We were tired and stiff from sitting so long, but excited.

We stood in a long Visa line, exchanged currency and did something else official (not sure what or why) and then went to pick up our two suitcases in the baggage area.

No suitcases.

We then stood in a huge line in which people kept walking in front of us and not being in a line at all.  When it was all done, we were dead last to be served, we still had no bags, but we had the equivalent of $150 USD  in Birr to use for "incidentals."  It seemed like a lot to me, but I think the Ethiopian Airline employee who watched us start in line at the #4 position and still be served dead last felt badly for us.

We pray our luggage will arrive tomorrow night when the next flight from Dulles arrives.  I am trying not to panic.  We have the clothes we traveled in and nothing else.  I am also trying not to beat myself up for not packing something useful in our carry-ons.  I NEVER do that!  WHAT was I thinking?!

It will be a long day tomorrow.  No clean clothes.  No hairbrush.  I was lucky to find a hair tie in my purse.  We are also lucky that the guest house staff was able to go out and find us toothbrushes and toothpaste.  An adoptive dad we met at the airport (who is next door to us at the guest house) gave us his extra, travel-sized deodorant.  I will be thankful for those things and try to figure out how to improvise the rest.

We have the paperwork necessary to receive M3's Visa and passport and that is all that truly counts.

M3, your country is beautiful and we cannot wait to meet you!

Some Photos to Tide Us Over

I plan to post our travel journal entries (for the most part) soon.  However, I'm finding that having M3 become acclimated to the house will be a time-intensive task as she wants to poke every button, open every door, peek around every corner and crawl under everything she can fit in.  Right now, I'd say we have a 3- to 4-year-old in a kindergarten sized body.  She is as sweet as can be, though, and we are enjoying her very much.  My mom took a photo of our family yesterday, but I can't seem to convince her that YES, she CAN get the photo off her phone and to me.  Sigh.

Last night went well.  M3 could not keep her eyes open and was in bed by 7:30.  I heard her calling for "Dadee!  Daaadee!" at 2:00 a.m.  She received a visit from me instead.  I stayed with her about an hour.  She used the potty a couple of times, rocked with me and then realized I wasn't joking when I told her everyone else was still in bed because it was nighttime.  She slept from 3-5:00 a.m. and then called for "Mama?!  Mahhhh-ma?!"  I returned to find her entirely too excited to expect anymore sleep to be had.  Both times I opened her door last night, I was greeted with, "Yay!" and hand clapping.  Now THAT kind of reception would have been great when the girls were new here, but usually I was just greeted with a need to change a diaper and a baby to nurse. 

More on our trip soon!

Until then, here are some photos from our trip we though you might enjoy!

This is one of my favorites.

I have three versions of this photo.

A full shot with others in it, one with M3 and I and one other important person in it and then this one--just us two.

Her smile is definitely infectious.  Her laughter is too.  Some of her most pure and hysterical laughter came on her first escalator ride at the airport.  The other came last night as we sat down to a Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner with a couple sides.  She cackled hysterically as if we'd laid out a spread fit for a princess and that princess was her--also as in, "You folks are nuts!  What could we possibly do with all this food!?"

This photo was taken just a few hours before we left to sit at the airport for a couple more hours before heading to America.

I was never so glad to board a multi-hour flight in my life.  I did not look forward to almost 16 hours of air time, but I did look forward to returning to my own turf where things are familiar and I feel comfortable introducing M3 to a world of wonder made more enjoyable by waiting our turn, not pushing or kicking or spitting or doing the wet noodle when we do not receive immediate satisfaction, taking small bites, and using our napkin.  Yes, the child is marvelous--speaks three languages, can count from 1-100 in English, recognizes numbers 1-10, knows her ABC's and recognizes all those letters in English, but our manners and listening skills are being improved each waking minute.  I cannot complain (much) as we have had NONE of the unsettling behaviors we saw in Ethiopia since we've been home.  I know they may return, but I feel better equipped to handle them here than when we were in another country being looked upon by strangers at every turn.  I don't have a problem correcting my child in front of others, but we were told not to...and it seemed like each of those children received that memo loudly and clearly.

My mom must have had her ears burning and her nose tingling because as I typed this, two picture messages came into my phone.  You'll enjoy these as well!

The smiles in this photo are pretty priceless.

I'm sure, given sisters being sisters, I will need to pull this out on occasion in the near future to remind all of them how very happy we were on the day we added another sister to the household.

It won't be long until they are bickering and I will need to take a time out and look at happy faces from our big day.

M2 put herself into a nap not long ago.  Something about the talking alphabet toy M3 was using being "annoying."  Of course, she doesn't remember how she nearly played that toy to death while learning her letters and letter sounds.

M1 has a sore throat, poor thing, and also put herself to bed for a nap.  We have a timer set for M3.  When it buzzes, she will also troop upstairs for her nap.  I'm thinking Mommy could use one, but should probably make a grocery list seeing that we are spending Easter at home rather than with our families.  We figured it would be too loud and too chaotic a thing to do to M3, and we want to introduce her to everyone in small doses.  We also would like to avoid the Easter baskets if we can because the sugar deprivation tank has been entered so to speak and avoiding Easter baskets would probably be the best prescription for her.

And, finally, our first family photo.  I will post photos from our trip along with our travel log very soon.  I'm still reeling and very tired from all the travel.  Hard to get my eyes to focus today. 

But, I know in all the adoption blogs I follow(ed), I constantly refreshed the screen looking for any signs of updates, insights, information, etc. and I LOVED reading about the family's travel time.  Now, I'll read with a new understanding and kinship with those folks, because WOW is all I can say. 

I never imagined our trip would be like that nor did I think my husband and I would constantly be looking at each other saying, "We are in Africa!" 

If you would have told me 20 years ago when he and I were dating that someday we'd adopt an older child (not a baby) and we'd travel halfway round the world to pick her up, I'd have told you that you need to lay off the crazy juice.  :)

Now, I'm entering the phase of adoption blogging where I have to decide our focus and direction.  I like "daily" diary kind of things, but I also want to respect M3's privacy during her transition time.  On the one hand, I KNOW the things that are happening to us are happening to others and I want to offer/receive insight and help, but I don't want this to become a daily laundry list of her schedule, her learning curve, etc.  So, we'll see how we do!

We are all adjusting to our new routine with an extra person in the house.  An extra person with a very infectious grin, a sweet voice, and hands and feet that move constantly and travel at the speed of light!  Not sure if it's a good or bad thing that she can use the word, "No" in context so soon, but those are the breaks when there is just SO MUCH we can put our hands on...and, yes, we have already had a discussion on my Mac and how it is Mommy's work and how if we touch it, Mommy will be soooooo sad and, perhaps, scary loud. 

Until later!  Have a joyous Easter weekend!

Almost...

We are so close!!

M2 and I made signs tonight and we bought her a teddy bear. Thank you all for the amazing comments:0)

More updates tomorrow...

Is it Friday Yet???

I absolutely cannot wait until Friday. I will finally get to meet my sister! My parents will be arriving in the afternoon on Friday. They will leave sometime tomorrow. I have no updates except that the paperwork is set and ready for them to travel. That my friends is good news!

Stay Tuned!

M1

Good old English...

We got to (again) speak with M3 this morning. She said hello and she loved us, and then she counted to 10. Apparently, she can count to 100 all in English! She can also recognize letters in English! This is such good news to hear, as we thought she ONLY spoke her language. Well, that's all for today, but stay tuned!

M1

She has a voice...

Hello all,

This is M1 giving you the latest updates. My parents have picked up M3, they picked her up around 12:00(Ethiopian time), here it would be 5 in the morning.

My grandmother, my sister and I got to speak to my parents. I was privileged enough to actually get to talk to M3. Here was our conversation:

M1:Hi, this is your sister.

M3:Hey-eo

M1:Are you gonna come live with me?

M3:Yah

M1:I love you so much, OK

M3:Kay

How sweet!!!

My dad said she was very happy and smiley. We have waited so long for this, and cannot wait until she gets here.