5 For Hope

Is it Friday Yet???

I absolutely cannot wait until Friday. I will finally get to meet my sister! My parents will be arriving in the afternoon on Friday. They will leave sometime tomorrow. I have no updates except that the paperwork is set and ready for them to travel. That my friends is good news!

Stay Tuned!

M1

Good old English...

We got to (again) speak with M3 this morning. She said hello and she loved us, and then she counted to 10. Apparently, she can count to 100 all in English! She can also recognize letters in English! This is such good news to hear, as we thought she ONLY spoke her language. Well, that's all for today, but stay tuned!

M1

She has a voice...

Hello all,

This is M1 giving you the latest updates. My parents have picked up M3, they picked her up around 12:00(Ethiopian time), here it would be 5 in the morning.

My grandmother, my sister and I got to speak to my parents. I was privileged enough to actually get to talk to M3. Here was our conversation:

M1:Hi, this is your sister.

M3:Hey-eo

M1:Are you gonna come live with me?

M3:Yah

M1:I love you so much, OK

M3:Kay

How sweet!!!

My dad said she was very happy and smiley. We have waited so long for this, and cannot wait until she gets here.

Arrived Safely!

My parents have safely arrived in Africa. Their luggage is a different story. Their luggage was left behind in DC. The airlines said it happened a lot. The plane with their luggage was supposed to arrive today, but we cannot get a hold of them to find out if or when the luggage arrived.

On the good side, my parents are supposed to meet my new sister tomorrow.

Stay tuned!

M1

The Plane Ride...

Hello,

Guest blogger M1 here telling you the latest news. My parents were delayed an hour in their first flight to Dulles (DC). Once they made it there they learned that their flight was actually at 11:00. They are now on the flight to Africa. They are due to arrive at 8:30 am, March 27.

Stay tuned for the latest news and updates from Fort W.

Ready to Go!

We are packing and readying the bags to head to Ethiopia in the morning.

Our daughter, M1, will be guest blogging here to share any news she receives from us while we are in Ethiopia.

We aren't sure what kind of communication we will be able to have given the time difference and iffyness of communication in general from such a far flung location.

BUT...if there are updates to be had, you will find them here so stay tuned!

Mysterious Ways

I think God has a pretty well-developed sense of humor as well as an interesting sense of timing.

Yesterday, I was standing in the lobby of the church which would host the homecoming ceremony for my husband's unit.  I pulled my cellphone from my pocket to the check the time only to see that I had missed a call and had a new voicemail.  I looked at the missed call list and took nearly a full minute to recognize the 'magic' area code--you know the one...the code for the area in which our adoption agency sits.

I quickly dialed voicemail and had to wade through a dozen 'saved' messages to reach my new ones (Hey, Verizon.  That's ANNOYING.  My NEW messages should be FIRST).  Our case manager, Jessica, had left a message that our Embassy Date of 3/30 had FINALLY been confirmed. 

Ethiopia, here we come!

That was a huge surprise.

The even bigger one came when I opened my travel portfolio carefully put together by a wonderful travel agent.  I found that of the two travel packages we had discussed (one had a flight out early Friday, the other a flight out early Saturday), the Saturday one was NOT in the pack.  I honestly thought we were leaving Saturday. 

Nope.

Friday.

Oh, well.  Glad I checked those tickets!!

So, this week is a whirlwind of trying to put my ducks in a row at work (I have great friends there so this should be fine), of trying to prepare the house so my mom only has to take care of the girls (no grocery shopping, etc), and trying to pack for what is surely a trip full of unknowns.  It is going to be an interesting week to be sure!

Will keep you posted!

Patience Is A Virtue

I would like to think of myself as a virtuous person, however, I believe one of the lessons God would like me to learn through this adoption is PATIENCE.  I'm just not very good at it.  I prefer to be a mover and a shaker.  I like to know where I stand.  I appreciate hard deadlines.  My profession thrives on rules, timeliness and statutes of limitation.  This whole wishy-washy, maybe/maybe not, "it depends" kind of scenario reminds me too much of law school--no answers, just a bunch of questions.

I e-mailed our agency yesterday.  First, I thanked them for the amazing video footage they passed along to me from one of my daughter's recent visitors.  It is almost three minutes of the most precious little person--M3 has a wonderful spirit and it really shines through in the video.  I have watched it a million times and can finally do so without crying.  I do, however, enjoy showing it to anyone and everyone and watching THEM cry.  Makes me realize that I'm not only seeing her through a mother's eyes (although there is nothing wrong with that) and that there is, indeed, something very precious going on in her teeny self.

The other reason for my e-mail was to ask our case manager if she thought it is time to 'call it.'  And, by that I mean, to determine that it is too late in the game for us to have a confirmed Embassy date of March 30th.  If it is our date, we'd be leaving March 27th (next Saturday!) for Ethiopia.  I already have accommodations booked and the trip ticketed.  I have trip insurance on both.  I figured we were WAY too close to the actual date (a week out!?) for the Embassy to confirm it now.

However, our case manager said she has no reason as it stands now to think we still aren't in the running for the March 30th date and that today or tomorrow a confirmation could come.

That would be fantastic!

That would also freak me out very much.

My husband has returned to the States from his deployment to Iraq.  I am extremely thankful for that.  Trust me when I say that as a wife, you run through every possible scenario, good and bad, when your husband is that far away doing what he does.  I am relieved beyond measure to have him only three hours from our home.  He will be finished with his out processing procedure this weekend and home to us early in the coming week.  He will have next to zero downtime and I know that means I'm taking on the lion's share of preparing for this trip.

Part of me knows I can do this.  The other part of me as prevented the whole me from jumping into packing and preparing with both feet.  It's almost like putting the cart before the horse still.  I have the cart and I know the horse is right there too, but I feel like if I'm packed for this trip too soon, it won't happen.

I KNOW THAT IS DUMB!

I also know, though, that I have things I want to do for my husband's homecoming that I have to check off my list first.  I have a list of things I need to do for my mother, who is kind enough to once again stand in the gap and take care of our girls while we are away.  I also have a list of pre-travel things (everything from prescriptions to gifts to clothes packing to snack packing) that need to happen before we go.  Again, we aren't going somewhere like anywhere we've ever been.  Forget something and you're more than likely doing without it for a week.

I do know one thing:  I wanted to climb through my TV screen while watching that DVD of my daughter, take her in my arms and climb right back into my living room.  I have to remain focused on that.  As long as that is the end result of our trip to Ethiopia, it was a good trip.

I hope you'll stay tuned.  This is about to become very interesting, I think.

Still Digging, But Feeling Better

I spent a bit of time over the past couple of days sending out e-mail to anyone and everyone I thought might have a handle on what the latest State Department bulletin meant, in general and specifically to us.  People were very quick and thorough in their responses and it is safe to make a few conclusions.

First, this bulletin, although it appears to be generic and widespread in its ramifications, will really only mean inordinate waiting for some.  It seems as if a few agencies have had complaints filed against them by parents who are suspicious about their children's social histories.  Couple that with the crisis in Haiti and the "news" reports lambasting trans-racial adoptions and/or the Ethiopian adoption programs and you have a brewing firestorm.

Second, our agency is not one of those allegedly in question.

Third, our tentative date of March 30th for an Embassy appointment is still possible.  We learned that those with a March 16th date (which means they will travel this weekend) only had this date confirmed for them in the last week of February.  We also learned that our agency's Ethiopian representative hopes to receive more clarification from the Embassy this week.

Fourth, given the above, scheduling travel now is not out of the question as long as proper insurance coverage is in place.

It is a relief in many ways, but it comes with its own panic button.  If all holds, we could be leaving the country in 18 days to meet our daughter.  I'm thrilled by that, but also freaked out by all that has to happen between now and then--including the homecoming of my husband after his Iraq deployment.

March will definitely go 'out like a lion' for us, it seems.

I will update more frequently as information becomes available.  Thanks for hanging in with us!

Over the Show

I'm going to venture a guess that the particulars of this announcement are why we have yet to have a confirmed Embassy date.  We knew the general, but that was a month ago.  Now, the State Department has finally released an official statement on what it is they are doing.  In pertinent part, it reads (with my highlights for emphasis):

Adoption Notice

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Office of Children’s Issues

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Change in Processing Timeline for Adoption Cases

 

March 5, 2010

 

The Department of State shares families’ concerns about recent media reports alleging direct recruitment of children from birth parents by adoption service providers or their employees.  In response to these reports, the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa has implemented some changes to adoption visa processing.  Adoptive parents should be aware that an I-604 (Determination on Child for Adoption, sometimes referred to as “orphan investigation”) must be completed in connection with every I-600 application.  Depending on the circumstances of the case, this investigation may take up to several weeks or even months to complete.  Therefore, adoptive parents should not plan to travel to Ethiopia until they have confirmed with their adoption agency that their visa interview appointment has been confirmed.

 

Adoption agencies submit case paperwork to the U.S. Embassy for review  before the Embassy schedules the immigrant visa appointment.  In some cases the I-604 determination could take several weeks or more from the time a case is submitted to the U.S. Embassy to the scheduling of a visa interview appointment.  We understand that in such cases this will result in a longer period before parents are able to bring their adopted children to the U.S.  However, this additional scrutiny is required to ensure that the adoption is legal under both U.S. and Ethiopian law.  The U.S. Embassy will work with adoptive parents and their adoption agency to ensure that each case is processed in the most expeditious manner possible in accordance laws and regulations.  Families should continue to work through their agency to schedule immigrant visa appointments and answer questions regarding pending cases.  

 

If families have concerns about their adoption, we ask that they share this information with the Embassy, particularly if it involves possible fraud or misconduct specific to your child’s case.  The Embassy takes all allegations of fraud or misconduct seriously. 

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How do I say this diplomatically? 

I call B.S.

Given that we passed court February 8th and we have yet to have our date confirmed, I'm guessing we're into the "several weeks" and hopefully not the "several months" category.  And, even with the gut feeling of our adoption agency and its representatives that our Embassy date will still be the 30th, I'm losing any hope of that the further into March we lumber.

I do not understand what it is the State Department is hoping to accomplish by doing this.  I know what they say they are doing and what those parents who suddenly develop a concern and suspicion of international adoption are saying (funny how all those people already have their kids home), but my question is--what does this mean?

If we believe that all this represents is one, final fail safe before a child is allowed to enter the United States as the child of United States citizens, then we must also ask, "What happens if there is a failure, even after months, to satisfy the threshold of the State Department?"  I don't even know what that threshold is, but it makes me wonder nonetheless.

If a child's file doesn't meet that threshold, then what happens to the child?  the family?  the adoption?

If it is purported to be more than another set of hoops to jump and that this is actually trying to accomplish something, then it would follow that for all the positive outcomes (American citizens can finally go retrieve the children they have worked so hard to bring home), there will be some negative ones (children for whom the threshold will not be met).  Then what?

At that point, the Ethiopian court's final order will likely still stand.  Some American family is considered under Ethiopian law to be the parents of a child.  But, the American government won't recognize that order and will not grant the child a Visa to enter the country.  Then what?  Pretend for one, unfathomable moment, that the parents take this lying down and decided, "Okay.  Well, if that child isn't available for adoption, we will try again."  I doubt the Ethiopian system would look favorably on a family who left their child and never came to take him/her home.  Good luck with that one.

This would end in limbo.  A limbo in which I doubt anyone really wants to participate, especially because an outcome is hard to determine.  Which leads me back to the original question--is this for show or are we really going to start takesies backsies with these children?

I think if there is a question to the legitimacy of how children end up in care in Ethiopia, it needs to be handled on the front end.  For our daughter, for instance, there is no home to return to per se and as far as the government is concerned, she belongs to us.  I'm sure with all that paperwork in place, I could go to Ethiopia tomorrow and make arrangements to see my child.  If I could arrange my own Visa status, I could likely remain there until her Embassy appointment--if only we knew when/if it were forthcoming.

I am just frustrated beyond measure.  There is only so much that can be shoveled into your face that you can blithely choke down.  Eventually, you gag and sputter and start resisting the line you're being asked to swallow.

If, at this point, there is a scintilla of a chance that our daughter may end up being deemed 'unadoptable' after she's already been adopted...I do not even WANT to imagine what that means to her life after that.  Or mine.  Or whomever will be answering the phone, fielding my visits or trying to figure out a way to leave their house with me on their front lawn.  Seriously.  I'm very, very over this.