5 For Hope

No Change.

Sometimes, maintaining the status quo makes you smile.  No new worries, everyone is traveling along and the bumps in the road disappear.  When you are working on bringing home a child from another country, however, status quo begins comfortably enough but quickly earns the label "for the birds."

We are waiting on final approval of our home study.  It's been a week now since it has been submitted, but who is counting?!  I know these things take time and such.  I just wish I had time.

Tomorrow, my husband and I will go to our bank to secure a letter regarding our accounts there.  This letter will go in our dossier.  I also have to go over my magic red binder with a fine tooth comb so we can visit our notary tomorrow and have every single stitch of paper in that binder finalized.  My husband heads off this weekend and although sending mail to another state will be infinitely easier than sending it to another country, I'd like to have things done before he leaves--at least what we have control over, that is.

I landed a contract position for the summer and it will help our bottom line quite a bit.  The schedule will be nice and flexible and I will love the work, so that's great.  Now all I have to do is figure out what this means to my adoption paperwork, if anything.  It's always interesting trying to figure out what's what.  Luckily, our caseworker at the adoption agency is efficient and top-notch.  I figure I'll produce a version of the form with the additional information and one without it.  We will use whichever we are directed to, but have the comfort of knowing bases are covered.

We won't have a chance to see the official referral before my husband leaves and we're okay with that.  We didn't anticipate it being an option, but when it seemed like it might be, we did get ourselves a little excited.  It's hard to think about experiencing all the ups and downs alone, but I remind myself that lots of military wives have biological and adopted children come into their lives while their husbands are deployed.  I hate that he has to miss things or hear about them second hand, but thank goodness for the technology that will help me record every little bit of every little thing to share with him later.

Please keep us in your thoughts as we prepare to take on some big challenges.  We are trying to treat this as an adventure in teamwork and so far, it's working.  When I think about what this deployment would be without the impending joy of bringing M3 home, it is a pretty dismal thought.  She has already brought so much joy and anticipation into our lives.  We have been blessed so much and she isn't even here yet!

I hope I have a reason to blog again before the week is finished!

Major Milestone Straight Ahead!

Our adoption agency caseworker notified me yesterday that our home study has been submitted for final review!  This is HUGE.  Once it is approved, we will be able to apply for adoption grants, finish our application process with the USCIS and be eligible to receive our official referral of M3!

I'm going to enjoy the excitement of this knowledge probably for the entire time it will take to have the report approved.  This is a major gateway milestone that opens the door to so many other exciting opportunities and milestones!

I want to thank each and every one of you who jumped on board 5 for Hope in those very early weeks because YOU made it possible for us to start the home study ball rolling.  We appreciate your efforts so much and especially are grateful for your faithful following of our progress!

I'm feeling confident that we are quickly moving toward the end of the Paper Chase.  THAT'S AMAZING and I cannot wait to be waiting!

What a TGIF moment this is!

Last night, the girls and I attended the first of our minor league baseball games that we will attend this summer.  Every season, I take the girls' photo on our first game night. 

I have a collection of three or four photos now. 

When I showed the girls how nicely their photo had turned out, M1 said, "Next year, we'll have to make room for three faces in that picture, Mom!" 

She's so right!

Chasing that Paper...

I've been asking SO MANY questions of our caseworker at the adoption agency.  She assures me my questions are not idiotic.  She also assures me that I am not a terrible pain in her tuckus.  I choose to believe her because she is so very sweet and conscientious that if I thought I were causing her stress, I would feel even more intrusive than I do when I send her yet ANOTHER e-mail!

I found out via one e-mail or another and a phone conversation that I have been dreading several steps to the dossier process that do not actually exist.  Ha!  Isn't that so like me?!  Reading too much into the very detailed (and clear!) instructions I have been given only to find out I created a process in my mind much more onerous than the one that actually needs completed.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me!  I keep thinking to myself, 'That's it?!  Are we sure?!  Man!  We're closer than I thought!"

I so want to be able to put the finishing touches on our dossier (everything we have control over which would be all but the clearance from USCIS) while my husband is home so we can complete this huge step together and I can send him into his last phase of training with the knowledge that everything is well in hand.

After all I learned today, I think that is completely possible.  Yea!

Thanks so much for your continued support and interest in our journey.  We are moving along and I feel like in the next few weeks we'll be making big strides to finally be waiting instead of paper chasing.  Stay tuned!

What Paperchasing Really Looks Like

Aside from the time spent on the internet, the miles in the car, the time in waiting rooms, and in line at the post office, you can bet a paperchase requires some good, old fashioned organization of actual paper.

Exhibit A:  My dining room table mid-organization of my dossier paperwork thus far.  Keep in mind, the dossier, albeit very important and multi-faceted, is but one in any number of applications, forms, etc. that an adoptive family has to complete. 

This is what an incomplete dossier looks like when it is in its natural state.  Blech!

Oh, the horror!!!

I'm not sure I told you, but I'm a recovering obsessive compulsive person who had to let some things go when she married and had children lest she lose her mind.  Not everyone understands my overwhelming need to detail my refrigerator like its a fine, imported sports car, but some might.

At any rate, you can see that NO ONE is going to be successful with a mess like this one!  Office supplies...STAT!  Usher in a detailed, checklist table of all necessary paperwork, gigantar binder, some page protectors, post-its, and a label maker and this job becomes a bit more manageable.

It took some doing, a few trips to the garbage can, a few trips to the printer, and some gnashing of teeth, but eventually, this massive amount of disorganized schtuff calmed down and moved into its new digs.

No one loves a good binder more than this girl.  Expanding folders are nice. 

I've made 'do with a hanging file box before, but a binder is perfection. 

Easily organizable, portable and available in so many fetching colors. 

You just can't beat a good binder.

This large binder is a leftover from a law school project that gobbled up all the current dossier paperwork with room for more--good thing because there will be more.  Not much more, thankfully, but still more.  Always more.  Sigh.
I had to organize all this to see where we are for certain.  Time keeps on ticking.

I dropped my husband off this morning to head back for a final round of in-state training before he leaves for another state and then overseas.  We have very little time between now and then to secure the necessary paperwork, signatures, authentications, etc.  It's an amazing process.  It's a process I wish I did not have to complete alone, but truth be told, even if my husband were here, I'd be doing most of this alone.  The gathering and fretting could be a two person job but all this organization is best left to one woman's melon. 

I cannot tell you the weight that is off my shoulders having this in the binder!  Tomorrow, I can design a plan of attack for securing the remaining necessary paperwork, make the necessary copies and be all set for a notary funfest in another couple weeks. 

Keep your fingers crossed for us!  Things are moving along and I hope more exciting updates will be coming very soon!

Drawn From Water

As we continue on our own, personal journey to helping the children in Ethiopia, I will continue to bring you new, grassroots ways that others are doing so as well. 
Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

Please visit their website and see how you can help.  It can be as simple as remembering their efforts when you pray or inviting friends to check out the site.  Keep in mind--word of mouth can be a marvelous thing!

Been Saving My Pennies...

I've been "ignoring" a set amount from each paycheck ever since I read about this project on a fellow adoptive mom's blog.  I have found so many wonderful links via this blog, I cannot even begin to tell you. 

One day, I was linked to yet another adoptive family's blog and I was inspired and enthralled with such a simple, yet lifesaving idea.  Joining Lori in her quest to build a well in Ethiopia to bring clean water to people in desperate need of it filled my heart with purpose.  I wanted to do this, but I knew I needed to do this even more.  I have so many tenuous little connections with M3 right now that being part of a greater group working toward a goal that would make a permanent difference in her country became very important.

So, I watched that 'ignored' amount of money grow and decided today was the day for our family to join Team Ethiopia.  Our family's name is now featured with so many others along the sidebar at Lori's blog.

I thought I'd tell you about it in case you wanted to toss your hat in the ring there as well.  Every little bit counts and, with the response she has received, it looks like Team Ethiopia may be responsible for TWO wells through Charity Water.  By using that link and the red donate button, our funds went directly to Lori's Team Ethiopia.  We are so excited!

You've been very supportive of our adoption journey and, most of all, we appreciate your positive thoughts, prayers and encouragement.  We'd appreciate it if you'd dedicate some of those to Team Ethiopia as the project winds into its 'big announcement' of just how big this team actually is!

Go on over and visit Lori's blog.  Post some encouraging words and see what a few determined families will be able to do in Ethiopia.  Yea!!

::Blink, Blink::

Some days, it's all I can do.  Wide-eyed, open-mouthed blinking.  And, it isn't always in a good way!  My recovery time is pretty quick, thank goodness, but sometimes I just marvel at how very little control a person truly has no matter what she does.

Case in point:  our home study.  Ah, yes.  The ever important conglomeration of paperwork that opens the door to things like official referrals and adoption grant applications and completion of USCIS requirements.  It's a biggie.  And I have been OBSESSED by it since January.

Our final appointment with our social worker was in February.  There were a couple loose ends to tie up--namely, that pesky background check of mine that took FOREVER to be sent from the state.  I did the fingerprints February 5 and the check was completed the 10th (according to the date on it), but it was not mailed to me until the end of March...even after I called a bunch...and e-mailed...and sent out a search party.  Okay, maybe not a search party, but still I kind of hounded people.

In the meantime, I also hounded my home study agency.  I checked, double checked, and then checked some more.  I always asked the same questions, "Do you have everything you need from us?  Is the only thing remaining to complete this study my background check?"  And, always, the answer was "Yes."

So, phew! Right?

Wrong.

Apparently, there is another clearance--from the child abuse registry system--that needed to be done.  In the original e-mail attachment from my home study agency, the request form for this clearance was not attached.  No biggie.  It was to be mailed or faxed.  It wasn't and frankly, with all the other forms, appointments, paperwork, etc., it did not occur to me that I was missing something.  As I looked over the checklist with obsessive eagle eyes, it did not register that I was missing that report.  And, about two months ago, I did not refer to that checklist anymore because I had a running list of things I was doing and, when they were done, I thought we were done.

To say this is frustrating is an understatement.

I take full responsibility for my part of not pasting that checklist to my forehead and asking about every item individually.  However, if I inquire on countless occasions if I'm completely and totally 100% done and I'm assured I am, you can see where a girl might think she's, oh, how do I put this?  DONE?!

I need that request form to be on my fax machine when I arrive home today.  I, actually, would have expected to see it yesterday, but then again, I also thought I was finished with all this.  Shows what I know!

ARGH!  I've done some asking around and, apparently, this check can take a couple weeks.  Of course, the background clearance I waited over two and a half months on is also supposed to only take a couple weeks.  I'm trying not to think about that one, though!

Paperwork is wrought with snafus.  I know that.  It's just difficult when you want so much to be finished and you think you are, but you are not. 

Hurry Up and Wait

For a military family, the phrase 'hurry up and wait' can always bring a rueful, knowing smile.  I'm thinking the National Guard has allowed us to practice for the rollercoaster of international adoption.

On the one hand, I have a huge stack of paperwork that will comprise our dossier.  This stack is almost complete.  And yet, there are lots of steps to complete once it is finally done.  We aren't even truly waiting yet.  You can't be waiting while your to-do list is still full.

On another front, our home study report is one step closer to being finally finished.  I cannot tell you what a relief all that will be!

I'm still concerned about the USCIS fingerprint appointment.  I realized after reading other blogs that even though I was allowed to leave, I could still fail this fingerprint screening as I have all the other electronic attempts I've made in my lifetime.  I'm not sure how many fingerprints have to be "good" for a passing score.  I doubt I passed.  If that's the case, I have to return to try again.  When I fail that one, then there is an alternative procedure--another background check in my municipality and an interview with CIS plus signing some sworn statement.  I'm imagining this taking some sweet time.

In happier news, I can tell you that M3 did receive our care package and reportedly was very fond of its contents, especially the sunglasses!  Once we are officially referred our girl, I'm hoping for photos and/or video of the exchange.  Of course, nothing can be shared publicly until she is officially, officially ours.  For good measure, I may not share photos here until we pass court and are on our way home.  I've also considered taking the blog private when our paperwork goes to Ethiopia for safe measure, but I'll keep you posted on that in case a password becomes necessary.

My husband will be home sometime this weekend to celebrate Easter with us.  I love Easter.  All the promise of the day itself plus the breath of fresh air spring provides.  Looking forward to it all and very hopeful this will be our last Easter with only two little girls in the house!

Dear M3...

When I was expecting M1 and M2, I used to write them letters either literally or mentally and I found it to be a wonderful thing to pass the time.  I never had a blog during those months, though, and because I do now, I thought this might be a good place to record the thoughts relating to our expectation of M3's arrival.

Dear M3,
I realized the other day that on Good Friday, you will have known about us for two months.  I wonder what you think about as you wait for those people in those photos to come find you.  I'd like to think you are anxiously awaiting that day even if you have happy feelings mixed with sadness and fear.  All those things are understandable and we have our own weird jumble of feelings over it all too.

We are so close to another major milestone in our journey to you.  Our homestudy report will be finalized soon and once it is, and once it receives approval, we will be ready to learn all there is to know about you from your referral folder.  When I imagine that folder in my mind, it actually glows.  Silly, isn't it?  But I see that folder, then the golden haze around it and the music "ta-da!"  I wish they were able to give you a full folder about us, but they can't.  So many unknowns about you and yet, there are so many more for you to contemplate when you think about us.  I'm sorry for that.  I cannot imagine how scary this entire prospect is for you.

Here is what I do know, though.  We could not be more excited about your joining our family.  We cannot wait to hold you in our arms.  We want nothing more than to take your hand and accompany you through the front door of your new home.  We want you to feel safe.  And valued.  And treasured.  And loved.  We want all those things for you and we feel so honored that we may be the ones to provide you with that.

We are hurrying as fast as we can.  I have lost as much, if not more sleep, working on your behalf than I did growing M1 and M2 combined!  I will continue to be tireless in my push for the process to move along quickly.  We already know we will have a wait once our paperwork arrives in your city.  The wheels of government turn slowly as those in charge make sure everything is correct--they care about you too, M3, and want to be sure we are worthy of having you join us in the States.  We will bide our time.  However, for our part, we are MOVING fast so we can make the wait as short as possible.

We love you and miss you.  Your room is waiting as are our open arms.  We're coming.  Hang in there!

Love,
Mommy