5 For Hope

Efficient Federal Agency...

Nope.  Not a punchline to a joke nor an example of an oxymoron.  It's the descriptor of the experience my husband and I had at USCIS this morning.

We reported at 8 a.m. and were 3rd and 4th in line and were back in our car at 8:34 a.m. after having both our fingerprints taken.  Smooooth sailing and for ONCE, the digital machine seemed not to hate me so much and acted like my fingerprints were acceptable.

I spoke with our home study agency today and our home study report is in its final stages--editing and then onto our adoption agency for approval.  Once that occurs, we can be referred M3 officially, have her file looked over by the experts at Cincinnati Children's, accept her referral, finalize our other paperwork and wait on USCIS to issue our approval form...then, onto finalizing our dossier.

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and it's NOT an oncoming train!

Thanks for your continued interest!  We'll continue to keep you posted!!

Finally! Background Clearance!

The notarized and signed copies of our background clearances arrived in the mail today.  For that, I am thankful and thrilled.

I am going to try and ignore the fact that my form reads "Date completed:  February 10, 2009."

Yep.  Fingerprints taken February 5, cleared five days later.

No less than a half dozen calls made by me and I know my home study agency placed at least a couple on our behalf.  But, apparently, no one actually checked the computer when they kept telling us to be patient. 

I'm just thankful it is finally here!

Now, our home study report can be finalized and sent to our adoption agency as well as the Immigration service.  Next step will be official referral.  Yea!

Driving On

In our family, "Drive on" is a familiar and favorite phrase. 

Delays in your paperwork?  Drive on.

Wonder when you will see your husband again?  Drive on.

Girls overtired and whiny?  Drive on.

It's our military family's way of saying, "Quit yer complainin!"

Complaining is one of those things that is very easy to do.  Then, once you start, it's hard to stop and it's also difficult to have your concerns taken seriously if all you do is kvetch and wail.

Our family experienced a loss over the weekend in the unexpected death of my 89-year-old grandma.  I'm going to take a page from her book, though, and not complain.  My grandma never complained.  About anything.  If she did, I never knew.  She always seemed to find the good in her situation, whatever it was, and concentrate on it. 

Maybe it's because she lived through the Depression.  Maybe it's because she spent time as a military wife during WWII with three small children when she was barely more than a child herself.  Not sure.  But, she had a knack for finding silver linings.

So, today, when I phone my state's criminal bureau AGAIN to inquire why I am STILL waiting on my criminal background check that began with fingerprints taken February FIFTH, I will try to do so with a smile.  I will not think about the fact that I went through this exact process less than a year ago so I could sit for the bar.  Or, that my homestudy is only waiting for this piece.  And, until my homestudy is done, we cannot receive M3's official referral or apply for adoption grants.  Or, that I purposely started our homestudy first to more quickly accomplish both those things...nope.  Not gonna think about that.
And, I'm especially not going to think about a little girl, a world away, waiting another MONTH because someone cannot seem to find the print button on the computer.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.

I will also take a page from my Grandma's book,though, when I go into battle for one of my own kids.  I don't think she'd mind me being squeaky wheel on behalf of one of her great-grandkids.  I'm sure once she's settled in Heaven, she'll set about moving things along for us.

We continue to drive on paperwork wise...we're mostly waiting on other people at this point. 

M1 Has Wonderful Friends

Today is a day that, as a Mom, I can't help but smile.  And, I know if my heart is this warm, the Mom of a particular birthday girl has to be even more so.  I'm so proud of her daughter.  I can only imagine that she is as well, ten-fold.

M1 attended a birthday party of a friend she has had since preschool.  M2 was invited to tag-a-long for the fun and we three attended the party after a very exciting 4th grade volleyball game.  I had been given a head's up regarding a little surprise the birthday girl had planned for M1, but I didn't post it here because I didn't want to ruin the surprise!

Rather than have presents and cards from her friends, the birthday girl requested that her friends consider becoming 1 of our 4,000.  Her mom said she really wanted to be a part of it and lots of the girls had talked about wanting to offer their support to M1 too.  So, the birthday girl made a certificate, had the guests sign it and presented it along with what she had collected from her friends.  Sixteen people stepped up to join our loving group of friends and family waiting to welcome M3 to America.

In the past couple weeks, we have also had one of M1's Girl Scout leaders, a dear law school friend of mine, and a fellow military spouse/blogger, express their intention to jump in the group and root for Hope's Homecoming.

The group waiting to welcome Hope home now stands at the equivalent of 384 folks.  Awesome!

We appreciate your continued prayers and well wishes.  We just keep moving toward our dream of welcoming our M3 into our home as soon as possible! 

Planning a Comeback

The weekend is upon us and I am mentally encouraging myself to become centered again and to devote a great deal of time, effort and thought into becoming the motivated, energized and organized prospective adoptive parent I was a week ago. 

Sending my husband to training this week sent me for a loop.  I had almost forgotten how draining it is to be on call all day, every day.  I love all the time with the girls.  It's the running around, household chores and things like buying dog food and taking out the garbage that I could do without now!  At least the house's clutter met its match at homestudy time and we've been very good about remaining clutter free.

In adoption news:
We have had some positive contact with our state's bureau that provides background clearance and are hoping my fingerprint report will be forthcoming.  We have also heard from the field office of USCIS and they are willing to work with us.  My fingerprint appointment is scheduled for the week after next!  Awesome!

It isn't that I haven't been doing adoption related tasks.  It's that I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants at the moment and for anyone who knows me, you know that is not how I like to operate.

On my list for the coming week:  make my doctor's appointment so I can have my paperwork completed for the dossier medical form.  I'm imagining there will be some needles, but NOTHING like what I can expect when I am immunized prior to traveling overseas.  Ooby Dooby!  I have to have LOTSA shots!

Old-Fashioned Girl

Our homestudy would be complete today if it weren't for one missing piece.

Guess what that piece is?

My background check report which is likely being delayed because I do not have fingerprints that are readable by the fancy schmancy electronic machines.  I had to have my prints done the old-fashioned way (INK!) and that's gumming up the works.

My husband's fingerprints and report were returned to our agency awhile ago.

If I had never been given a clean bill of health on my background check before, this might not be so frustrating.  But, the very same people checked the very same prints less than a YEAR ago when I applied to take the bar exam and I passed.

It might also not be so frustrating if I'd ever had so much as a traffic or parking ticket, but I have not.  Ever.  (Knock on wood)

I'm trying to be patient.  I'm not doing a very great job.  Without our homestudy being done, we cannot apply for grants or have our file with USCIS moved to "active/pending." 

I know this all happens in the time it is supposed to, but it doesn't make me less frustrated.

Additionally, we have to have notarized, signed copies of these very same reports for our dossier.  These will be notarized by one of two counties in my state, neither of which are mine.  This means I will need to go to the clerk of the county in which the notary is registered and have them checked. 

I called a week ago and left a message on the voice mail of the person tasked with fulfilling these requests.  Unfortunately, I found out today when I called the general number of the office that this individual had a death in her family and had not been in the office for some time.  I also found out that had I called YESTERDAY, I would have been within a 30 day window that I didn't even know about and I would not have to pay for these letters.  It's only $16 total so I'm not fretting.

It will happen when it happens, I know.  It is just amazingly frustrating to have been cleared by this agency at least twice in my life prior to this request and to still be waiting for them to acknowledge that I have no criminal history.

We'll have an exciting (and decidedly less whiny) 5 for Hope update soon!

Maintaining Optimism Despite Obstacles

My husband leaves tomorrow morning for his first round of training.  He will be gone the better part of the month.  I have a stack of paperwork that is ready to be notarized, but will not be until later this month. 

It's frustrating because I had painstakingly planned the final few weeks of his being home and the adoption tasks that coincided with the time, but I did not account for unexpected distractions--like the rotavirus that invaded my husband's usually ironclad immune system.  It put him down for the count on the very days I had planned to revisit our friend who notarizes our documents. 

I have a big stack of stuff that I want to put in our dossier file that will have to wait until his two day break at the end of March.  I will need to spend the next few weeks becoming super organized because I know he will not want to spend his precious at home time watching me furtively shuffle papers. 

The only thing keeping me from becoming despondent over this chain of events is that my goal of finishing our portion of the dossier paperwork by the end of March has not yet been completely thwarted.  It's still possible.  We are very close now.  It's just a matter of a few appointments, a couple requests, and very little else.

Another sticky point that I'm holding my breath on is our inevitable fingerprint appointment with USCIS.  We have filed our application form and they are waiting on our homestudy to complete our application file.  Eventually, they will contact us regarding a fingerprint appointment.  I e-mailed the adoption coordinator late this past week to ask what options are available to us given two things:  1) my husband's time is no longer his own and 2) our field office is only now dealing with applications from September of 2008.  Kind of makes the timeline a wee bit wack-a-doo.  Pray that they will allow him to go to the field office or another acceptable location to give his fingerprints when he is actually in the zipcode.  I worry that time will pass and he will be headed south and then overseas and this issue will persist.

I have to just trust that things are happening according to a timeframe that is the right one, even if it isn't our personal idea of what is right or good or even timely.  I have to remind myself we just started all this a few weeks ago and that we have already come so far.  That reminder rings hollow, though, when I think about M3, who knows about us now, wondering when we are coming for her.

Patience is a virtue, that is very true.  It just isn't one I've quite perfected yet!

Cannot Wait To Hear the Backstory

I always love when the kids bring home artwork and tell me all about what they were thinking when they created their masterpiece.

Today, I had to stop by the girls' school and as I walked down the hallway by M2's classroom, I noticed some new artwork on the wall that she had not talked about yet at home...at least I don't think so.

We had a conversation the night before last about how much she loves her soft blanket emblazoned with a brightly colored picture of Dora. 

She asked me if when M3 comes home and is in need of a soft blanket if she (M2) could keep the Dora one and M3 could pick one for herself.  I told her that was a good idea. 

M2 then launched into a monologue about which characters she thought M3 would most want on her blanket.  I tried to explain to her that it was doubtful M3 knew any of the characters M2 mentioned because she would likely not have the same books we have. 

M2 said, "Well, maybe she saw it on television."

Again, I reminded M2 that M3 does not have access where she is to a television.

::silence::  ::blink, blink::

"No television?!"  (This coming from a child who does not watch much TV at all on any given day).

Now that I have seen M2's artwork, I wonder when she made it in relation to the discussion?  I'll also be interested to see if there is any significance to her choice of colors for the dress or the hue of the paper doll. 

M2 usually does things for a good reason.  If this is a case in point, I'll be sure to update you as I'm sure it will be interesting!