5 For Hope

Home Study Update

We received a rough draft our of social worker's report today.  I reviewed it, making changes as requested, and returned it to her.  She is putting the finishing touches on it and will send it to the home study agency later today.  Once the agency receives it, it will be reviewed again, then finalized and then sent on to the adoption agency for approval.  Once that approval happens, we should be at the point of receiving an official referral for M3.  This means her complete file will be available to us.

We are stoked!

Holy Paper Piles, Batman!

When adoptive parents talk about the 'paperchase' I always thought...how hard can it be?

Trust me when I say I'm not able to think of an application process more tedious than this one has been and we are not even CLOSE to being finished!  My state is notorious for the ridiculous amount of information necessary to apply for the bar exam...that experience was like a walk in the park compared to what we are doing right now.

Of course, the return on our investment with this process will be leaps and bounds above those I have received from being permitted to sit for the bar exam.  We also are benefited by some great friends willing to write letters of recommendation at the drop of a hat as well as another who let us invade his office today like a bad episode of the Keystone Cops...copying, notarizing, signing...REPEAT!

I don't mean to sound like a whiner (although I'm very good at it!), but I do like to keep it real.  I have had several prospective adoptive parents who visit this site and take comfort in seeing what is coming next for them.  It feels good to check things off the list, but there always seems to be another step...I just keep reminding myself it's one step closer to M3.  And, for those facing their own paperchase, I doubt it would be this complicated if it weren't for my husband's impending deployment. 

Our group of those joining the 4,000 continues to grow!  This weekend, we visited home and had the equivalent of 13 people join our number.  This week alone, we have had the equivalent of 6 people join and our totals have jumped to the equivalent of 353.  One of the 6 is a fellow law school graduate who, like me, had to wait a bit to find a great job...I'm glad she's done waiting, even if I'm still looking!  Another who joined us this week is a friend from high school who recently reconnected with us on Facebook.  Thank you! We are so appreciative to those of you who wish to be involved in our journey and we can't wait to tell M3 all about those who joined in our dream.

We keep chipping away at the paperwork and it won't be long before our homestudy is written, then finalized, then approved...then, our next big step will be sending our dossier through the rounds for authentication.  Whooo boy. 

Forward March...

We just keep moving forward on the trail to M3.  I continue to try and gather paperwork, complete paperwork, submit paperwork and figure out how we will do all this once my husband leaves to start his training in another week.  I know there will be things that come up once he's gone that will require his presence.  I'm sure that's unavoidable...I'm just wondering what we will do when that happens and he's in another zip code.  I just have to keep reminding myself that things are happening on God's timetable, not mine, and if He decides something needs to be done, who am I to question how he will make that happen?

I am looking more and more forward to visiting Ethiopia.  I decided that if I land this new job Tuesday (and even if I don't), I'm going to figure out a way to sock away $10/week or so such that I can afford to purchase a new Nikon digital camera before I head overseas.  I want to document everything and from what I understand, those cameras are amazing.  I've seen photos that they produce and I'm encouraged that even with my sometimes terrific eye, I could take some wonderfully engaging photos that our family would treasure.  I not only have to document this trip for M3, but also for my husband and children who won't be with me on this first journey to Ethiopia.  We will return as a family, but for now, we'll have to be satisfied with the travel journal photos.

We have had several new folks join our 4,000 the past week or so.  We currently have the equivalent of 341 people involved in our quest to bring M3 to the States.  We are so thankful that you wish to be involved and that you continue to join us here at the blog to check out how we're doing.

We're gearing up to say goodbye to Daddy very soon so the girls are a little sad.  M2 asked the other night if M3 were "really coming here" and when I told her that she indeed was, M2 asked "when?"  I told her we needed to be patient and that it takes time.  She replied, "Well, if M3 were here, she would be with me in my room and we could play.  If M3 were here, I think I would miss Daddy less."  I can't wait to check more items off our 'to-do' list so that M2 can see progress too. 

An Anniversary of Sorts

Tonight was our final homestudy appointment.  Our social worker asked us lots of questions about our relationship, our marriage, our parenting styles, etc.  One of the questions involved the date of our engagement which I realized was seven years ago today.  Amazing.

We have submitted our dossier prep fee to our agency and I received the dossier instruction file today.  WOWZA.  Talk about paper chasing!  I realize that I have many of these documents already.  I just need to make some copies and have some things notarized.  There are also a couple things I have to chase down and yet other things I need to repeat--like employer letters and doctor's forms.  I'm just going to try and do as much as I can as quickly as I can because, well, that's how I roll. 

The sooner we are done chasing all this paper, the sooner I can concentrate on the deployment, a potential new job and the impending adoption of one very special little Ethiopian girl.

The director from the NGO who has been in Ethiopia since the 4th should be in the States any time now.  I've been super patient externally (while I'm a wreck internally!) wondering if she has new photos and if she may have even captured the delivery of our care package on video?  That's an awful lot to hope for, but I do anyway.  I will be appreciative of whatever we receive, even if it's only confirmation that the wee one received her bag and knows about us now.  That's what's most important.

Glad you're joining us on our journey.  Now, buckle your seatbelt and be ready for the dossier paperchase!!

Things I Will Enjoy

Amritas asked in the comment section of the previous post for a status report on my level anxiety about traveling to Ethiopia.  Several things impact that level including, but not limited to, the very real possibility that I will be making a major excursion overseas by myself.  I will go over alone but come home with a likely heartbroken, petrified and squirmy kindergartener who has no earthly idea if I'm an okay person or not and who may not even want to know for a very long time.

I would say that this stage, I am settled with the idea of going to Ethiopia to pass through another stage in the adoption process.  It, honestly, reminds me of my overall feelings of having a baby.  I was okay with the idea as a whole.  When and if I broke it down, however, and thought for any period of time on one particular step (like labor and actually pushing a child forth or, in this instance, trusting the Lord will protect my always testy tummy from anything that would make me hurl, the dreaded plane trips to and fro, and the very real possibility that bonding may not show signs of life until we are back on US soil for days) I could become very anxious.

So, overall, I am okay with the entire idea and I know I can do it (what other choice, right?).  However, many steps need to fall into place and lots of information gaps have to close before I feel more comfortable with the several steps.

I love spending time reading blogs and personal accounts of those who have already been to Ethiopia and those who are planning to go.  One thing I am super stoked about is that Ethiopia is the birthplace of one of my favorite things on the planet -- coffee.  I have heard and read about the coffee ceremonies held in Ethiopia and cannot wait to observe and participate in one myself!  This is one thing that I am almost 100% certain I will enjoy when it happens.

One particular blog I regularly read not only explained how the ceremony progresses, but also provided photos!  You may be as amazed as I was to watch the progression of the coffee bean into a drink I cannot wait to try in its home country.  Of course, I'm even more amazed at the young woman who writes the blog and the important work she and her colleagues are doing in a region of Ethiopia that holds a special place in my heart for reasons that you will know as our story is told.

Mountains of Paper

Sometimes I feel like I'm being buried in paper.  Even with staples, paper clips, binders, page protectors, folders and filing cabinets...paper abounds!

We received the paperwork we will need to have completed and notarized prior to my husband deploying.  As I will likely be traveling to Ethiopia without him, I will need to take along travel documents already notarized along with the power of attorney necessary to complete all the hoop jumping in country.  Luckily, I know a notary who has graciously offered to help us with our paperwork whenever we need.  He has been a wonderful support throughout the process and I look forward to having him stamp away on these too. 

We passed our fire inspection at our house today.  My husband, a former fire fighter, was very pleased (but not surprised).  I put him in charge of that step and he ran with it.  He had to create a written evacuation plan.  He created one complete with arrows and diagrams the girls could decipher.  He didn't think it prudent to put words on it--who would want to read it all during a fire anyhow?

Our final homestudy appointment is the 17th.

The first draw from our home equity line of credit landed in my account without incident.  Now we just need to track down the checks they promised they would order for us!  In the meantime, I will just go withdraw the money we need right now and send it in!

Today is Friday which means an update from the adoption agency should drop into my inbox soon.  I'm hoping there will be news directly from Ethiopia this week.  If so, I'll be sure to pass along what I can!

A big thank you to all the ladies who work at my husband's dentist's office.  A few are personally affected by adoption and even more decided to become one of our 4,000.  We appreciate you!

We will be spending our Valentine's Day entertaining two of M1's friends and M2's very best friend.  Five girls 10 and under...ear plugs, anyone?

Mid-Month and Mid-Week

It's hard to believe that February is half over already.  Harder still is the reality that my husband will begin his training in a few short weeks.  Admittedly, I don't allow myself to think about it much because I find if I avoid thinking about it until I'm in the midst of it, I'm too busy by then to wallow.

Things continue to progress.  Our first disbursement from our home equity line of credit should land in our account tomorrow.  Because of the generosity of those contributing to 5 for Hope, we will be able to pay for a full half of the dossier preparation fee from nothing but 5's.  That frees up other funds from the HELOC to make other paperwork payments faster and to look for bunk beds as well.  Thank you again!

M1 has had a lot of homework lately, but she is slowly putting together her first bracelets.  She doesn't want to let her fans down!  In a few weeks, I will have more time to help her with this project as a few deadlines will pass at work.

The NGO director has sent word from Ethiopia that her trip is going smoothly so far and that she is accomplishing the goals she set for herself.  These include moving the kids into a new, bigger facility and making sure the licensing and paperwork that needs monitored with the government is receiving proper attention.  I keep wondering if our package has made it into M3's little hands yet or not.

We're sending a major piece of paperwork to our homestudy agency tomorrow.  I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't ask more questions about it sooner.  It was my impression from all I'd read that this form had to wait to be submitted until after our homestudy was finalized.  In our state, that isn't the case, however, and I could have forwarded it sooner.  Sigh.  Lesson learned.  I only hope that my husband will still be here as it involves making a fingerprint appointment and such.

We'll finish up our meetings with the social worker next week.

Our 5 for Hope Facebook group has grown to 105 members!  Terrific!

Rounding Up the Week

A busy week at home means a not-so-busy week on the blog!  I apologize for allowing things to become a little dusty these past few days.  We have lots to report, though, so relax and keep reading.

First, our 5 for Hope Facebook group has grown to 103 members!  Holly B. became the 100th to join us.

Second, the equivalent of 5 more people joined our 4,000 taking us to the equivalent of 315 people!  Wow!  Only 3,685 more people to meet our goal.

Third, we closed on a home equity line of credit Saturday and will make our first draw on it Thursday.  With this first disbursement, we will pay our dossier preparation fee with the agency and move toward receiving our official referral of M3. 

Fourth, our second home study appointment will occur sometime this week.  The great thing is I was able to collect the medical forms for the girls and I on Friday.  My doctor filled out my form while I waited and then brought it to the waiting room  to hand deliver it.  He congratulated me on our family's big news.  I really love my doctor.  The girls' pediatrician also completed the form super fast.  I can pick it up tomorrow or Tuesday...whichever day I visit with M2 to have her cough evaluated.

Fifth, we have assigned the job of writing the reference letter that must come from a family member to my sister-in-law.  She was very pleased to take on the homework.

In other news, Brian and I attended a military ball last night.  Our family readiness group leader is very excited about our adoption.  She shared with us that she had told her mother in Michigan about our plans and that her mom has been telling the prayer chains to keep us on the list.  If you're visiting our site from Michigan, "Hi!"

We promise not to let so many days pass between our updates again! 

Homestudy Appointment #1

Our first homestudy appointment went without a hitch!  Yea, us!

The appointment, set for 6:30, began before Brian arrived home from work.  Our social work, SB, is super nice and made us feel at ease immediately.  She began by talking to the girls.  I could not have been more proud of them!  M1 provided thoughtful answers while M2 allowed her personality to show through (in a good way).  I was amazed at how at ease they were with SB and no coaxing to speak with her was necessary.  She told the girls what a good job they were doing and how smart they both are--guess who is their new best friend now?!

Brian arrived home after I'd started to answer my preliminary questions.  Tonight, we addressed autobiographical data and talked a lot about our families and our childhoods.  As if I weren't convinced SB is a master at putting people at ease before, I definitely could see it in her conversation with Brian.  He was very at ease and able to speak quite easily with her.  The appointment time just flew by and she then did a walk through of our house in regard to the safety audit. 

Yes, I made her look inside my spotless refrigerator.  Ha!  And, she actually used the word "spotless" in reference to my house.  I think she was simply being kind, but at least I did not have any sense from her that she thought I was a slob...thank goodness!

One appointment down and our next one will be scheduled for next week!

Thanks for all the good luck wishes and prayers!  They worked!

To Everything A Season...

I have to keep reminding myself that things are not going to happen according to  my plan or even my timeline.  Things happen when they are supposed to happen.  Period.

We received a call from our credit union today.  Brian and I decided to bite the bullet and pay for another appraisal on our home in an attempt to boost the chances that our home equity line of credit could more sufficiently meet our needs, if necessary. 

Remember, at the end of 2008, we wanted to refinance our house and had an appraisal conducted for that.  It was much lower than anticipated and even lower that the value of our property for tax purposes which is typically not the case.  It was a full $2,500 lower than the tax assessed value.

Our most recent appraisal, conducted Friday, came back a full $17,000 higher than the last appraisal and $15,000 more than the amount for tax purposes.

I cannot stop smiling. 

I also didn't realize how absolutely heavy my shoulders had been feeling these past few days.  I'm breathing much more easily now. 

I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate those of you who encouraged us to go ahead with this second appraisal and to trust our instincts that the first had been an anomaly. 

I must now resist my childish urge to file a complaint with the State regarding the previous appraiser's behavior and the obvious mistakes on his part that led to the low appraisal of our property.  On the one hand, I was so angry about not being able to refinance and so confused as to why everyone just took this man at his word that I wanted to scream.  On the other hand, though, I wonder how many other couples with dreams of adopting or simply paying a lower mortgage payment had their hopes dashed by this guy?  I'll need to pray about this one.

We are ecstatic. 

I could do a little dance...but, I'm at work.  I'm sure it violates some sort of policy.  I'm using my bathroom break time to blog, though.  I do want to make that clear!

Keep praying for us and for M3.  Every day we move a little closer to each other and it is thrilling.