Before leaving town Friday for my sister-in-law's wedding, I received an e-mail regarding the defective DVD and the lady was nice enough to promise to send a replacement disc with all the children as well as a disc containing footage of just the little girl we are interested in the most. Because of the location of this office in relation to our home, I figured I wouldn't see this mailer until Wednesday. I'm not sure how I became the fountain of eternal optimism, but I continued to hope to see it before then.
And, among so many answered prayers in this journey, the mailer was in my mailbox this afternoon when I went to collect the daily delivery.
My husband and I immediately sat down and watched the raw footage that went into making the interview I had originally watched on our first disc. He appeared as enthralled by her as I and saw in her the very things I had seen. Just like with our youngest, he is able to look beyond that little, quiet shell and see the lovely, sweet, and fun little girl waiting to be found.
Both girls watched the video when they came home from school. They thought M. was cute and wanted to "go get her today."
The organization also sent along a pre-application for an adoption through them via agency with whom they are affiliated. I have already answered all the questions in pencil on a separate piece of notebook paper. You know, in case my husband suddenly decides to give the go-ahead...time's a wastin'.
Truthfully, he's being very diligent in his thought process and I appreciate this about him, especially now. I am a perpetual and perennial mother. There is a child that I have identified who is alone in this world who needs a family. As far as that goes, I'm locked and loaded, so to speak. It's good he can be calm, cool and collected and consider the contingencies of this ginormous step in our family's life.
I know, though, that it's useless to try and not love this little girl. I already do. We may not be the family the Lord has chosen to make a place for this little soul. But, that doesn't mean that I don't feel a connection to her and want to swoop in, wrap her in my arms, and shuttle her to the States immediately. I pray for her and her biological mother every single night. I pray both know that somewhere in this world there is an average mom who holds them both dear and wants nothing but the best for both of them.
Now, it's about waiting...and hoping.
Even though this is so far a secret blog, I know someone out there knows where we are in our journey and can relate. Someday, M. may read this and know that before we even officially began, she had made a home for herself in our hearts.
We love you already, M.
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